Chris Nolan's DUNKIRK

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Dunkirk” EARLY & FOR FREE

Holy crap, I’ve got free passes to see Dunkirk!
If you don’t know why that’s something to holy crap about, then you obviously haven’t heard that Dunkirk is the latest from Writer/Director Christopher Nolan. It’s his first feature-length film since Inception (2014) and tells of the evacuation of allied forces, who were surrounded by the German army during WWII. Nolan wanted to avoid CGI as much as he could and focused on old-school effects, like placing actual naval destroyers in the water and crowding the beach with cardboard cut-outs of soldiers. He even put Spitfires on cranes and swung them around to film the dog-fights. Continue reading →

Andy Serkis as Caesar
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FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “War for the Planet of the Apes” EARLY & FOR FREE

If you think you don’t want to see War for the Planet of the Apes, you should probably do what I’m doing with my daughters this weekend; watch the first two movies again.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) were both lauded by critics (OK, Dawn way more so than Rise) and featured excellent performances by Andy Serkis. Those films set up a finale that, believe it or not, has already become one of the highest rated films of the summer. Even better, you get to see War for the Planet of the Apes EARLY and FOR FREE! Continue reading →

Balthazar Brat

Mommy-Movie-Review: “Despicable Me 3”- This Time, A Villain Steals the SHOW

I took my kids to see Despicable Me 3 the other night, but I had to bribe them. The girls were so disinterested in Gru and the Minions this time around that they’d only see it if I smuggled brownies into the theater (sorry AMC!). I also had plenty of things that I’d rather do that night but I had to go because I am a Film Critic and Film Critics see movies. Even the ones they don’t want to see.

Fortunately for all three of us, Despicable Me 3 is far better than expected. It has all of the things we enjoyed in the earlier pictures (great animation, a sweet family story and Minions for DAYS) but this DM3 offers something even better.

It has what is quite possibly the BEST onscreen villain I’ve seen since Goldfinger:
The Brat. Continue reading →

Spider-Man
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Mommy-Movie-Review: Is “Spider-Man: Homecoming” OK for Kids?

Before we discuss taking your kids to see Spider-Man: Homecoming, we should probably address how YOU feel about it. Odds are, you’re still confused about the need for a reboot (especially since they JUST rebooted it with Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker) and, as a result, you’re apathetic about the whole thing.

Let me clue you in to a few solid reasons for you to NOT be apathetic about Spider-Man: Homecoming. Continue reading →

Wall-E

Me: The Cockroach Assassin (An Old Blog for Summer Break)

I simply can’t write during Summer Break.
I’m blaming my kids, since they’re home from school and currently draped over various pieces of furniture, staring at mind-numbing electronic devices. They would honestly let me sit at the computer all day long if it meant they could continue their non-activity but watching them sit there MAKES ME CRAZY.
Isn’t that strange? That watching someone do nothing at all could make you want to snatch that iPhone out of their hands and stomp it to death?
It’s this particular mania that has led me to countless pool-trips, friend-visits and dollars spent on Groupon, just so they’ll PUT DOWN THAT DAMNED DEVICE!
It’s also why I’m posting a very old blog from my even older Blogspot account. I can’t find the brain-space to write now so I’ll just share stuff I could write then. Enjoy!

MOTHERF**KING ROACHES

Did you know that cockroaches are warm to the touch?
Well, I didn’t actually touch him. I just stepped on him one night in our old house. Continue reading →

Tom Holland

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Spider-Man: Homecoming” EARLY & FOR FREE

If you aren’t excited about Spider-Man: Homecoming, it’s probably because you didn’t see his triumphant return in Captain America: Civil War. Yes, I also rolled my eyes at the thought of it, but my Spidey-apathy was abated when young Tom Holland donned that stretchy suit. Good Lord, that boy is adorable. If you missed it, click HERE to see a compilation of his Captain America: Civil War scenes. Or don’t. I mean, then you’ll just want to SEE Spider-Man:Homecoming and I simply don’t have enough free passes for EVERYONE. Continue reading →

Ferrel & Poehler
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FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “The House” EARLY & FOR FREE

Read the cast-list of The House and it looks like all of your favorite Parks and Recreation cast members AND Will Ferrel. In fact, Ferrel and Amy Poehler haven’t starred in a movie together since Blades of Glory in 2007. Seems like they should be putting something out yearly, doesn’t it? In this one, they play parents who start an illegal casino in their home to raise money for their daughter’s college tuition. Continue reading →

Popcorn
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Movies Worth Seeing Twice (and Where to Do It CHEAPLY)

If you’re anything like me, you probably take your kids to see every age-appropriate movie as soon as it opens. It started as a way to keep the offspring occupied when they were tiny handfuls, but it’s blossomed into a full-fledged love of film that I get to share with my daughters. That’s why I love it when people ask me AND MY GIRLS about new releases. I got their help when putting together this list of our Top 5 Movies Worth Seeing Twice, because sometimes you’d rather spend your money on a sure thing. Continue reading →

Transformers

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Transformers: The Last Knight” EARLY & FOR FREE

Before you roll your eyes and tell me the world doesn’t need another Transformers movie, do us both a favor and watch the Transformers: The Last Knight trailer below. I have no idea what the HELL is going on but it looks kind of…dare I say it…GOOD? It won’t matter either way if you get to see it EARLY and FOR FREE though, right? Continue reading →

Beguiled

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “The Beguiled” EARLY & FOR FREE

The setting for The Beguiled is a girl’s school in Virginia during the Civil War. Young women are sheltered there from the horrors of war, when they take in a wounded soldier. The soldier is played by Colin Farrell so you know EXACTLY where this story is heading. He starts working his way through the ladies when something goes horribly awry, which is why you have to see The Beguiled. Continue reading →