Wall-E

Me: The Cockroach Assassin (An Old Blog for Summer Break)

I simply can’t write during Summer Break.
I’m blaming my kids, since they’re home from school and currently draped over various pieces of furniture, staring at mind-numbing electronic devices. They would honestly let me sit at the computer all day long if it meant they could continue their non-activity but watching them sit there MAKES ME CRAZY.
Isn’t that strange? That watching someone do nothing at all could make you want to snatch that iPhone out of their hands and stomp it to death?
It’s this particular mania that has led me to countless pool-trips, friend-visits and dollars spent on Groupon, just so they’ll PUT DOWN THAT DAMNED DEVICE!
It’s also why I’m posting a very old blog from my even older Blogspot account. I can’t find the brain-space to write now so I’ll just share stuff I could write then. Enjoy!

MOTHERF**KING ROACHES

Did you know that cockroaches are warm to the touch?
Well, I didn’t actually touch him. I just stepped on him one night in our old house. Continue reading →

Tom Holland

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Spider-Man: Homecoming” EARLY & FOR FREE

If you aren’t excited about Spider-Man: Homecoming, it’s probably because you didn’t see his triumphant return in Captain America: Civil War. Yes, I also rolled my eyes at the thought of it, but my Spidey-apathy was abated when young Tom Holland donned that stretchy suit. Good Lord, that boy is adorable. If you missed it, click HERE to see a compilation of his Captain America: Civil War scenes. Or don’t. I mean, then you’ll just want to SEE Spider-Man:Homecoming and I simply don’t have enough free passes for EVERYONE. Continue reading →

Ferrel & Poehler
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FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “The House” EARLY & FOR FREE

Read the cast-list of The House and it looks like all of your favorite Parks and Recreation cast members AND Will Ferrel. In fact, Ferrel and Amy Poehler haven’t starred in a movie together since Blades of Glory in 2007. Seems like they should be putting something out yearly, doesn’t it? In this one, they play parents who start an illegal casino in their home to raise money for their daughter’s college tuition. Continue reading →

Popcorn
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Movies Worth Seeing Twice (and Where to Do It CHEAPLY)

If you’re anything like me, you probably take your kids to see every age-appropriate movie as soon as it opens. It started as a way to keep the offspring occupied when they were tiny handfuls, but it’s blossomed into a full-fledged love of film that I get to share with my daughters. That’s why I love it when people ask me AND MY GIRLS about new releases. I got their help when putting together this list of our Top 5 Movies Worth Seeing Twice, because sometimes you’d rather spend your money on a sure thing. Continue reading →

Transformers

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Transformers: The Last Knight” EARLY & FOR FREE

Before you roll your eyes and tell me the world doesn’t need another Transformers movie, do us both a favor and watch the Transformers: The Last Knight trailer below. I have no idea what the HELL is going on but it looks kind of…dare I say it…GOOD? It won’t matter either way if you get to see it EARLY and FOR FREE though, right? Continue reading →

Beguiled

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “The Beguiled” EARLY & FOR FREE

The setting for The Beguiled is a girl’s school in Virginia during the Civil War. Young women are sheltered there from the horrors of war, when they take in a wounded soldier. The soldier is played by Colin Farrell so you know EXACTLY where this story is heading. He starts working his way through the ladies when something goes horribly awry, which is why you have to see The Beguiled. Continue reading →

Cars 3

Mommy-Movie-Review: “Cars 3” with My Kids (PODCAST)

I took my kids to see Cars 3 last night and we were all VERY surprised by it. My girls didn’t even want to see it, so the fact that this podcast isn’t eight straight minutes of them complaining is a SHOCK. Listen to the audio below to hear their thoughts and find out if YOU should see Cars 3. Keep checking the FREE MOVIE PASS page as well, to find out what I’m giving away next! Continue reading →

Breast Health

ODE TO MAMMOGRAMS: The Good Ol’ Lean & Squish

I made a routine trip to the doctor today and it reminded me of a not-so-routine-trip a few years ago.

See, I had scheduled a mammogram after finding a lump and was very apprehensive about the appointment. For the record, this is a common thing for me because my boobs are like 2 fun-sized bags of Reese’s Pieces. I’ve been berated for years now by one nurse who claims this odd condition is a result of my coffee addiction. I’m a dedicated junkie though so NO, I won’t be dropping that habit any time soon. Plus, this particular nurse has a wonderful Jamaican accent so I sort of like to hear her bitch at me anyway.

This lump felt different though and a 10-foot-deep pit of dread had settled in my stomach. I walked in for my mammogram that day CONVINCED bad news awaited. In my mind, bagpipes were playing as I disrobed and not the fun, drunk kind you hear on St. Patrick’s Day. My favorite nurse was there and she gave me the usual lecture, but even SHE seemed a bit reserved. The doctor decided he should get a better look with the (deep breath here) sonogram, just to be safe. Continue reading →

Dog

PODCAST: “It Comes at Night” Review & “Wonder Woman” Debate (Do Women HAVE to Like It?)

Rebekah Black and I saw It Comes at Night last night and it left us wildly depressed…in a good way. Is that possible? Listen to the podcast to hear our thoughts about the latest from Texas filmmaker Trey Edward Shults (read more about him HERE). We also have a spirited discussion about Wonder Woman and whether or not women HAVE to like it…because Rebekah Black DIDN’T! Continue reading →

Lightning McQueen

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Cars 3” EARLY & FOR FREE

My daughter just asked me what we’re doing tomorrow. We’re not even a week into Summer Break and they’re already bored asking for itineraries. Fortunately, I have loads of Free Movie Passes to give away this summer, including these tickets to an early screening of Cars 3. You can bring up to 3 kids with you too, which means you can take your whole posse OR relieve a friend of theirs. Continue reading →