Happy New Years!

RECIPES: New Year’s Collard Greens & The Best Damn Biscuits Ever

Everyone knows that eating black eyed peas on New Year’s Day is supposed to bring good luck but did you know that eating collard greens is supposed to bring money?

I imagine most people gloss over that part because they don’t LIKE collard greens or have never tried them. I get it. They look mushy & gross, like something you’d find growing in a gas station bathroom. If you can get over that though & actually get them into your mouth, you’ll find they are AWESOME. At least MY collard greens are. Continue reading →

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Road Trip of Paranoia

I’m extremely paranoid. I’m not joking around here. If I talked to a doctor and told him/her EVERY paranoid thought that crosses my mind in a single day they would probably try to medicate me.

I get especially paranoid during road trips when I have to spend the night at a hotel. This comes from years of traveling alone & all the WEIRDNESS I’ve experienced at my roadside stops. I found syringes under my bed once and then there was the guy who got stabbed to death in the parking lot. There was also that one time someone tried desperately to open the door to my room. I was standing naked in front of the TV, brushing my teeth when that started.

Traveling with my daughters has not helped this problem. I have, on more than one occasion, decided that we were being “cased” by someone who was going to kill my husband & I and steal our daughters.
See, I told you it was bad.
I convinced myself of this yesterday when we were traveling home from our Christmas vacation. I won’t go into the specifics because it would make you see just how truly insane I am, but I thought the 2 men I kept seeing at our hotel were following us. I decided they were probably working with the girl at the front desk & would split the money once they sold my kids to some creepy old man.
Now, I didn’t tell my husband any of this because I know how crazy it sounds. That is the ONE good thing about my clinical paranoia: I KNOW I’m insane. That’s why I kept it all to myself but I still locked the door & bolted it. I also pushed a chair close to my bed so I could throw it at the guys when they knocked down our door. It was also a place to keep the various glasses I would throw at them & my phone, to call 911 of course.
I planned to stay awake most of the night to protect my family from a danger they weren’t aware of, but I drank 2 bourbons & fell fast asleep.
My husband was already up when I woke the next morning. I’d slept like a baby & through the whole night, which is uncommon for me. I lounged in bed for a moment with no memories of the prior days panic, until my husband noticed to door to the adjoining room.
“Wow, this thing doesn’t lock! It was sitting open all night long. Well, it’s a good thing nobody wanted to get in here.”
Somehow, during my freaked-out-planning-phase I had completely neglected that ONE GIANT DOOR. The door that didn’t bolt properly so the child-thieves would only need one finger to push it open & cause their mayhem.
So now I have to wonder, what’s the point of being THIS paranoid if I still have to be really stupid?

 

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The 2014 Films Most Likely To…

The DFW Film Critics Association announced their picks for the best movies of the year. If you haven’t seen that yet, here’s the link:¬†http://www.dfwcritics.com/dfw-film-critics-name-birdman-as-top-film-of-2014/

I’m a member of the DFWFCA (I tell this to everyone within 5 minutes of meeting them) and I agree with our winners, but there are a few other movies I wanted to mention. That’s why I compiled my “2014 Films Most Likely Too…” list. Think of it as the Senior Superlatives for Movies. Continue reading →

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Holidays at The Hoyts

My very first memory EVER is of Christmas in Conway, Arkansas with my Granny and Grandpa Hoyt. I remember arriving at their house after a long drive and seeing the Christmas tree right as we walked in the door. I must have been tiny because I remember someone handing me to my Grandfather. He held me next to the tree so I could see the lights and my mind was BLOWN. Clearly, since I remember it so many years later. Continue reading →

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And Then I Built a Website…

Lots of big changes have come my way lately and I’ve suddenly found myself without a platform. This is WILDLY frustrating for someone who has made a living by broadcasting my thoughts for almost 25 years. ¬†That is why I’m taking to the internet and building my own stage. This has turned into a slow and sloppy process which, let’s be honest, is the only way I do anything anymore.

Please bear with me while I figure out the bells & whistles but I plan to use this page as my microphone. I’ll be sharing blogs, recipes and reviews of everything I need to voice an opinion about. I appreciate any feedback you have to offer, as long as it isn’t along the lines of “Yr fat & UGLY.”

Happy Holidays and if you have time check out the recipe I just posted. It’s for my Mom’s Rum Balls and I’ve issued a challenge. There’s gotta be a way to get drunk off these things. We just have to figure out how many to EAT!