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BLOG: Love & the Zoo (Want To Touch My Monkey?)

I fell for a fake news story yesterday about a zookeeper who was having sex with a walrus. Here’s a link if you want to read it but remember, it isn’t true.
NOT A TRUE STORY (BUT FUN TO READ REGARDLESS)

You have to wonder who the poor girl in the photo above is. Will someone read the story, NOT hear that it’s false and then meet her at the grocery store one day?

“How do I know yooooooooo…wait I REMEMBER!” Continue reading →

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BLOG: My Very First “Muffins With Mom”

I went to my very first “Muffins with Mom” this morning. If you don’t have kids you probably don’t know that every year, right before Mother’s Day, elementary schools serve muffins and coffee to the moms. Dads get “Donuts with Dad,” which the kids secretly like more because everyone knows donuts are better than muffins. Despite this, my daughters were REALLY excited about having me there this morning. Continue reading →

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FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Mad Mad: Fury Road” On Me!

If you’re anything like me, you MIGHT have yawned a little bit at the idea of a new Mad Max movie. You might have even launched into a “Hollywood has run out of ideas,” rant.

Then you heard that Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron would star in it and your interest piqued. Not long after, you started seeing the posters and trailers and now you’re full-blown excited about it! Jeez Louise, LOOK at Charlize in this thing! She’s TERRIFYING! Continue reading →

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City Hikes: The White Rock Paddle Company (*Beware of Snakes & Spiders)

I’ve been reviewing area hiking trails since January but it’s starting to get HOT out there. Sure, I like to hike but once temperatures excede 90 degrees, I get a little whiny. That’s why I’ve decided to also review kayak and paddleboard rental agencies over the summer. If you KNOW of any, please leave those suggestions in the “Comments” section.

I hit The White Rock Paddle Company last week and was THRILLED to see they were open again. Continue reading →

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BLOG: Happy Mother’s Day! Here’s Your Annual Anxiety Attack

I ask for the same thing every year for Mother’s Day:

Shopping money & time to go out & spend it.

This was a special treat back when my kids were small and had to be held, entertained and wiped frequently. A little time alone to shop was like a spa treatment. Actually, EVEN BETTER if I found something on sale that fit nicely. I remember one particular late night trip to Super Target that felt like HEAVEN. The store was cool and well lit, so I got a Starbucks and even tried on clothes. It was so far beyond my usual scope of experience at that point, it almost felt illicit. Continue reading →

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BLOG: Why Does Kate Look So GREAT? Here’s a SECRET About Birthing Babies

People were shocked when the Duchess of Cambridge emerged from the hospital this weekend, just hours after giving birth to the new princess.

“How does she look so FRESH? So BEAUTIFUL,” they asked. “Didn’t the baby she’s cradling just come bursting from her nether region like an angry alien? Shouldn’t she be lying in a heap and apologizing to Prince William for all the horrible, mid-labor names she called him? WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO GOOD?”

Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Continue reading →

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Mommy-Movie-Review “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (But Can My KID Watch It?)

New in theaters this week is the highly anticipated sequel, Avengers: Age of Ultron. If your family is like mine, this movie and whether or not my kids can see it has been a constant topic of discussion. Fortunately, I already saw the film so I can give you the low-down. Continue reading →

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BLOG: Happy First Communion, Tattoo! Where’s Your Pretty Veil?

My youngest daughter is celebrating her First Communion this weekend and she is profoundly apathetic about it. It’s not that Lucy doesn’t appreciate wine and snacks during church. Believe me, she does. She just doesn’t quite grasp the magnitude of the occasion. I blame the veil for this.

See, I had MY First Communion in a Catholic Church where you get to wear a tiny version of a bridal veil. I was going to wear my sister’s, which had been hanging from her dresser mirror just out of my reach, for most of my life. I gazed at that veil everyday and imagined the moment I finally got to wear it. Oh, how lovely I would be! Continue reading →

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PODCAST: I Drove ALL THE WAY to Plano for the “Zazza Mornings” Podcast!

I went to see Tony Zazza because he SAID he wanted to talk about the Avengers: Age of Ultron. HE LIED! Evidently, Tony had a “bone to pick” with me and boy, did he ever! I thought he might jump across the desk & stab me with a Sharpie at one point. Click HERE and go to Podcast #24 to hear what happened but WATCH OUT for that Tony Zazza. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry!