BLOG: Mom and the Panty Trick

This August 2nd will mark the 10-year-anniversary of my Mom’s death. Ten years and some days it still stings like a fresh wound.

I had some intense dreams about Mom right after she died, where we would sit together and talk about what had happened. Sometimes she was mad about having to leave so early and other times she seemed confused about where she was. Once, she even told me that she wasn’t dying after all but was pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. Those dreams scared the hell out of me because they felt so real. If I was honest, I’d admit that deep down I don’t think they WERE just dreams. That’s a little too painful to consider though.

I’ve been thinking about Mom even more lately because we’re in the process of buying a house that she would have LOVED. It’s modern so Mom would’ve dug the clean lines and giant windows. I can almost hear the happy-squeal she would’ve made when she saw the pool. Yes, Mom would’ve loved this house which makes me happy and sad at the same time.

Maybe that’s why a completely forgotten memory of her came to me yesterday. I was about to put on a white shirt but had already put on my make-up. I thought to myself, “Gee, I hope I don’t get any make-up on my shirt,” and that’s when I saw it: A full-blown mental image of Mom with panties on her head.

I was in middle-school and just learning how to apply make-up. I must’ve been doing a piss-poor job of it because I kept getting eyeshadow, lipstick and blush all over my clothes. The collars of my shirts were especially bad since they were all smeared with orange foundation. Mom said to me, “If you HAVE to put on make-up before putting on your clothes, put a pair of panties over your head. That way it won’t smear on everything.”

Then she slipped a pair of silk panties over her head and pulled on her shirt. Voila!

I died laughing of course, at the image of my Mom with panties on her head. That pissed Mom off. She could tell I wasn’t getting anything from her demonstration, but she laughed anyway. She was right too because never once in my life have I tried the Panty Trick. I guess, like many lessons Mom tried to teach me, I just put it away in some brain-file to be forgotten until a later date. I’m really glad it resurfaced though. I also fully plan to show the Panty Trick to my own girls one day though, if only to see the looks on their faces!

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