I have been bragging about my big summer road trip FOR MONTHS. It started back in February, when I decided to take my kids on a cross-country journey to visit family and friends. We would see my sister in Georgia and then hit my hometown of Burlington, North Carolina. Take a quick drive to DC for July 4th fireworks and then we’d stay in a relative’s Delaware beach house for a week. My husband even planned to fly up and meet us which made the whole thing perfect, right? Well, perfect until we started planning the 3-day trip home.
We would have to leave soon too, so the spectre of nonstop-driving began to haunt me. There were also the horrible WHAT IFs that started haranguing me. What if the car broke down or we got lost? What if my oldest, who is prone to car-sickness started barfing in the backseat? What if I ran out of money somewhere along the Eastern seaboard? There were also the creepy What ifs that I’m prone to when traveling (see earlier blog http://juliesaysso.com/road-trip-of-paranoia/). Primarily, WHAT IF the whole “Awesome Summer Adventure” turned into a nightmare and I had no one to blame but myself?
The more I worried, the more I wondered who this person is that I’ve become. I NEVER questioned a road trip when I was young. I drove EVERYWHERE and LOVED IT. I prided myself on the several-day-long journeys I took in my 20s and the enormous burst of freedom I got from them. I want my daughters to know that same sense of excitement and to never be afraid to hop in the car and GO.
But I’m full of sh*t because I just chickened out of my OWN summer road trip.
Okay, I didn’t ENTIRELY chicken out. I prayed on it instead. When I hit a mental road block like this, I like to say a prayer and throw it out to the universe to sort out. I do this so often that it reminds me of an old Saturday Night Live sketch. Omigod, I can’t believe I actually found it online:
So, I prayed about our Big Summer Road Trip and guess what happened. A friend called because she’s renting a Florida beach house with some other families and one had to back out. As a result, we could join them for a week in Destin at a next-to-nothing cost.
As far as SIGNS go, that’s a pretty good one so we are no longer taking our road trip. I feel kind of crappy about it, too. I mean, I’m relieved about the change in plans, but did I just let my fears get in the way of something awesome? More importantly, did I just teach my daughters a not-so-great lesson about forgoing big plans for something easier and safer? Or am I overthinking the whole thing? Maybe I’m just afraid of using a McDonald’s bag to clean vomit out of the backseat…again.