I’m going to be on on Good Morning Texas tomorrow to talk about movies and I’m pretty freaked out about it. I’m worried about looking fat on TV, which is stupid because I’m not exactly skinny to begin with. I don’t know why I expect to go on camera and suddenly look 20 pounds lighter but that’s exactly what I hope for.
I should know better because I spent a year doing movie segments on TV and I know the reality. Even if I don’t look fat, something’s going to be jacked up. It might be a weird clump of hair that’s sticking up or maybe zombie bags under my eyes. One time, the long necklace I was wearing draped around one of my boobs, like a sling. No matter how much I prepared, something would always be out-of-whack.
I’m not on TV regularly anymore but I DID join Ron Corning on “News 8 Daybreak” to chat about Fifty Shades of Grey recently. Just like today, I was terrified. I prepared though, by picking out out a nice dress & getting my hair cut. Just before leaving that morning though, I made a last minute decision to wear some Spanx.
I hate Spanx, for the record, and have only worn them a handful of times. The first time was at a holiday party years ago. My dress was tight so I bought the Spanx for a little extra help. While I was at the party, a young man started talking to me. He had just graduated from college and must’ve had a thing for older chicks because he was really flirting with me. I was LOVING it, of course, but every time I tried to laugh at his jokes, my Spanx would roll over my gut. I could’ve gotten an ego boost from my Mrs. Robinson moment, but instead the whole thing left me feeling self-concious and completely unsexy.
I swore off Spanx that night but inexplicably pulled them out before my Ron Corning interview. The segment was great and I had a blast but OF COURSE the Spanx ruined everything. When I played it back, I could see how my hips were spilling out of my Spanx, like biscuit dough from a can, as they say. The Spanx didn’t HIDE my fat. They pushed it to another place where it bulged unexpectedly. Ron Corning looked gorgeous, of course.
So here I sit, stressing about and over-planning my TV segment tomorrow. I enlisted the help of my friend Christine Visneau, who is a stylist and the woman behind Veecaravan. She put together my clothes and accessories for tomorrow and I just got my hair cut again. My make-up is set out and ready to go, so cross your fingers that no clump of hair sticks up or food gets caught in my teeth. And dear GOD, someone please hide those body-warping Spanx from me so I don’t make another brilliant last-minute decision!