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MOVIE REVIEW: “Spectre” & Why James Bond Is Kinda Creepy Now

I saw the new James Bond movie Spectre tonight so I can tell you this: It’s another James Bond movie. You will find James Bond doing James Bond-type stuff, like driving expensive cars and sleeping with pouty women who have psychotic boyfriends. There’s a story about a bunch of bad guys who are protecting the ULTRA bad guy and Bond has to catch him without dying, of course. If you like James Bond movies, you will be happy to get more of the same. If you’re like me and don’t understand the appeal, Spectre will do nothing to change your mind.

There is a glaring problem with our current James Bond though and I think it’s time to address the elephant in the room. James Bond’s need to screw everything in sight has gotten more than a little creepy.

Let me be clear. I understand that 007 has always been written like this and that his lothario ways are simply part of Bond culture. This also has nothing to do with Daniel Craig, because I think he’s the sexiest Bond we’ve had since Sean Connery. This attitude doesn’t fit in a modern world though and it makes him seem dated…or WORSE.

Take, for instance, a scene early in Spectre where Bond undresses a tearful, widowed Monica Bellucci while whispering, “Trust me.” Ewwww!

That might have been OK in 1964 but in 2015 it seems…well, a little rapey. The James Bond love-scenes have developed a Cinemax-vibe to them as well, where he and random women have dead-behind-the-eyes relations for no apparent reason. It’s not even hot and it’s a disservice to the franchise.

Let’s also take a look at the current Bond-Moneypenny relationship. He had a respectful but flirty thing with Miss Moneypenny in earlier movies but now…it’s also creepy. He drops hints in Spectre and makes Naomi Harris’ Moneypenny bring things to his apartment for no reason at all. Bond is also a first-class space-invader when Moneypenny is around, which wouldn’t fly with most dudes. Again, I understand that it’s James Bond and is supposedly SEXY, but if a sweaty dude named Herb pulled that crap, he’d be called into HR the very next day.

James Bond has been updated in every other way, from cars to clothes to weapons, so why not update his attitude towards women? Can we get him some sensitivity training or maybe an effective but elderly female therapist? After all, James Bond has devoted his life to his country. Doesn’t he deserver better than this? I just hope something is done to fix the problem soon, before James Bond becomes the MI6 equivalent of Quagmire.
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4 Comments

  1. Bond movies aren’t made for you. They are made for the few men left who long for the old days. When men didn’t carry fanny packs and cooked more than their wives. Keep your metro sexual men away. Well do just fine.

    1. Point taken Dan but I don’t mind machismo or even sex-scenes. I LOVE the idea of watching Daniel Craig get nasty with gorgeous women. It just seems forced and awkward in “Spectre,” and makes him look a little like Austin Powers. No, I definitely don’t want a Metro-Sexual-007 but he could certainly play it a little cooler. Tell me what you think after seeing the movie and THANKS FOR REACHING OUT TO ME!!!

    1. That’s a very good question! GASP…maybe that’s 007’s big secret! He’s a quick finisher & has been leaving Bond Girls diappointed FOR YEARS!

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