There are 3 big new movies opening this weekend and if you’re interested in one of them, odds are you couldn’t care less about the other two. Let’s start with what will probably take over the #1 spot at the box-office, Blade Runner 2049.

Everyone is so worried about SPOILERS with this movie, so I’m not going to give away any plot points. How you will feel about Blade Runner 2049 all depends on how you felt about the first one, anyhow. Is the 1982 original an important part of your life? Do you remember the characters’ names? Do you own the Director’s Cut? Then you will absolutely LOVE the futuristic world that director Denis Villeneuve has (re)created. If you never watched the first one and are only seeing Blade Runner 2049 in hopes that Ryan Gosling gets naked, sorry but he doesn’t. You should take a minute to watch the first Blade Runner or at least read the Wiki summary or you’ll be completely lost. You should also know that the movie is 164 minutes long, and it FEELS that long. Villeneuve likes to linger on his characters’ quiet faces, or on gorgeously blighted landscapes. If you love the Blade Runner concept and long to spend more time in that world, you’ll be in HEAVEN. If not, you might be like the guy 3 seats down from me who used those 164 minutes for an extended snooze. (B)

If 164 minutes of anything sounds awful to you, consider The Mountain Between Us instead. It stars Idris Elba and Kate Winslet as plane crash survivors who must depend on each other to thwart almost certain death.

I think this movie is based on one of the dirty fantasies I’ve had about Idris Elba. There’s the one where he falls madly in love with me when we meet at a film festival and the other one where we just make-out after running into each other at Arby’s. The Mountain Between Us is more like the fantasy where Idris Elba and I meet on a ski-lift, but no one crashes a plane or falls through ice. Look, The Mountain Between Us is ridiculous. It’s just an excuse to watch 2 gorgeous people avoid death until they can gorgeously hook-up (or do they???). If you’ve had enough dirty fantasies about Idris Elba and/or Kate Winslet though, The Mountain Between Us might be just what the beautiful doctor with the British accent ordered. (C)

And finally, the film that nearly crashed my website when I posted Free Movie Passes to see it, My Little Pony: The Movie.

I took my daughters to see My Little Pony: The Movie, even though they’re too old for the TV series now. I thought that the movie version would offer something for all ages, and especially for older but not entirely grown-up MLP fans. Boy, was I wrong. My Little Pony: The Movie is essentially a 99-minute-long version of the TV show, but a more expensive one thanks to that high-caliber cast. Emily Blunt, Zoe Saldana and Liev Schreiber share voice-work duties with original MLP cast members, but it doesn’t add much to the over-all effect. You’re left with a pleasant but basic message about the importance of Friendship and how we all should be a little nicer to each other. That’s sweet, but some crisp writing or even a few jokes would’ve been appreciated. (C-)

Hope that helps you find the PERFECT movie and, if it doesn’t, check out my Top 5 Movies to See Right Now post from last week. And remember to keep an eye on the Free Movie Passes page because I know I’m giving away some great stuff right now!