New Year’s Resolutions: Make-Up, Kayaks & Lady-Boners

If you ran into me on this day in 2013 and asked where I thought I’d be in a year, I would’ve been WAY off. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived through BAD years and I know that 2014 doesn’t qualify as one, but it definitely could’ve ended on a higher note.  That’s why I’m making New Year’s Resolutions for 2015.  I don’t usually believe in resolutions because I think you should change things whenever you want. Waiting for a new year seems pointless, right? But it’s appropriate for me now because someone tore my life into little pieces & threw it up in the air. I’m just lucky because now I get to piece it back together into a pattern I really like.

1)  GET A JOB: This might seem obvious but I have some big questions to answer about my career. I’ve always said that RADIO was my first marriage but if that was the case, we’d be seeking out divorce attorneys. Something I use to love dearly is now breaking my heart on a regular basis. Does that mean it is time separate? Or do we just need a really good counselor? Do I seek out another radio job (they’re not very easy to find) or is it time to try something new? This is a big question for me and honestly, just writing it down is giving me a mild panic attack.

2) STOP WEARING MAKE-UP:  I was talking to some girlfriends the other night who rarely wear make-up. I told them that sounded nice but I ALWAYS wear make-up because I look like crap if I don’t. Just HEARING those words come out of my own mouth bummed me out. It’s not that I look like crap all the time. I’ve just forgotten what I look like without make-up.  I’ve gone 36 hours without any make-up (OK, some lip-gloss) and I expect to go another 24.  I don’t plan to abandon make-up ENTIRELY but I need to come to terms with my face in it’s natural state and hopefully start to LIKE it.

3) GET OUTSIDE MORE OFTEN: I started hiking, biking and kayaking on a regular basis last year and was SHOCKED by how much I loved it. After spending YEARS in a stinky gym, stomping around outside seemed like a vacation. I spent so much time kayaking with one girlfriend that someone asked when we planned to buy flannel shirts & a pick-up truck together. The funny thing is when he said that, I thought, “YES! I NEED A TRUCK!” I’ve never been an OUTDOORSY person and still cringe when my husband suggests camping, but I need to find even more ways to exercise outside.  It’s far better than running on a treadmill in some farty gym.

4) LOSE THE FILTER:  Yes, believe it or not I have a filter. It comes from 25 years in radio when I had to stop on a dime and think, “How offensive is this? Should I even say it?” This has carried over into my writing and it must stop. In fact, I just deleted an entire blog because I repeatedly used the word “HOBO.” Well, that actually might have been the right call but the person I REALLY am doesn’t have a filter. If you know me, you know I can be offensive and sometimes even mean. I also LOVE profanity and wish swearing was an Olympic sport so I could compete. I need to stop worrying about offending people and use my real voice when I write. That brings me to my final resolution…

5) WORK THE TERM “LADY-BONER” INTO CONVERSATION MORE OFTEN:  I don’t know who came up with this one but it is brilliant.  I especially love it in reference to KILLING a lady-boner. Ahh, I feel refreshed just seeing it in print.  Let’s ALL commit to using “lady-boner” in a sentence, at least once daily.

Please feel free to share your own resolutions in the comments section. That way, we can help each other keep to our commitments (or pick on each other when we fail).  Oh, and if you run into me out somewhere don’t tell me CONGRATULATIONS for sticking to the No-Make-Up thing. If I actually am wearing make-up, things will get awkward.


  1. Hi Julie – I SO relate to this post! Having spent 33 years in radio and now 20 months out of it – I’m not sure I even WANT to be back. It’s like Lucy asking Charlie Brown to kick the football ONE MORE TIME. I surely miss it – mostly for what it used to be. I frankly don’t even know where I’d fit – outside of a loud mouth talk show hostess…but I doubt America is ready to hear what I have to say. I went without make-up today – but seldom do because – well…you know. You, on the other hand are “roll out of bed” pretty. You are so talented in so many areas – I believe if you focus your energy on something, it will happen. Find something you’d do for free because you love it so much – then figure out how to get paid. In the mean time, use the time away as a gift. Share it with your family as you have been. I loved working with you and am blessed to have you as a friend. You have no idea how much your encouragement has meant to me…well, maybe you do now. Here’s to an abundance of events worthy of Lady Boners in 2015.

    1. Thank you so much Leslie! You’ve always been supportive of me & my work as well (even when you were my boss!). 2015 will be a great year for us BOTH!

  2. These made me laugh. I’m really enjoying this new site because you write exactly how you speak or, maybe more accurately–since I now know about the filter factor–exactly how you speak on the radio. I’ve listened to your movie reviews forever, and it’s so easy to hear your voice as I read these posts.

    Good luck on all of your resolutions. Oh hell–good luck to all of us on everything in 2015.

  3. Julie,
    Loved this post. We miss you on the radio. Good luck to you in 2015, I hope you accomplish all these resolutions. It sucks to start over, but remember always look out for #1 & 2 (yourself and your girls). Cheers to 2015!

  4. Julie, been there with the get a job on your list. I was in an extremely negative work environment. I took a leap of faith and started my own small business. That was four years ago. It stresses me out b/c money’s not great but I’m happier. But I’ve learned over the past years to give it to God and let go. The no filter thing I have to laugh I’ve felt that I need from time to time to remove mine then slam it back into place.

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