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Why Am I’m Hiding in the LA Fitness Parking Lot?

I’m writing this from the parking lot of a gym near my house. I’m hiding out here because I don’t want to be home when the woman who cleans our house gets her “Your Services Are No Longer Needed” note. Yes, I am firing her via note and I feel absolutely terrible about it. I LOVE this woman and so do my kids. They got all weepy when I told them we had to part ways with her. That’s not why I’m dodging her though. Continue reading →

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Easiest Posole EVER

I managed to live in New Mexico for 3 whole years and NEVER eat Posole. Everyone else loved it and swore by it’s hangover-healing properties. I, on the other hand, always confused Posole with Menudo, which contains tripe. I avoided them both at all costs because I KNEW I’d somehow end up eating a cow’s stomach lining.

I found a Posole recipe in Southern Living though and it looked incredible.  It seemed simple enough until they started rehydrating chile peppers and pulling out the food processor. That’s when I glazed over. See, I HATE our food processor though I don’t really know why. Maybe because it takes up so much space in the dishwasher or because it’s hard to get down from the high shelf my husband puts it on. I was about to give up on this Posole recipe when I had a thought.

“What if I skipped the rehydrated chiles and just added enchilada sauce instead?” Continue reading →

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Jessie & the Haunted Schnitzel

If you don’t know Jessie Jessup from 102.1 The Edge, you’ve either been living in a cave or you’re an avid country music fan. She has been the Afternoon Drive Queen at the Edge for 15 years now, which is like a lifetime for radio DJs. One of the things that makes Jessie so awesome is that she doesn’t disappoint when you meet her in person. Most radio DJs are pretty boring, average people when you see them in public. I can say that because I was a radio DJ and was told on multiple occasions, “Ew, you don’t look ANYTHING like I imagined. You’re just…YOU.”

Thanks asshole. Continue reading →

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CITY HIKES: Cedar Ridge Preserve

One of my 2015 New Year’s Resolutions was to exercise outside more often and one of my FAVORITE outdoor activities is hiking. Unfortunately, living in the city doesn’t afford many hiking options. At least, that’s what I THOUGHT until I searched “Hiking in DFW” and found loads of trails that I’d never even heard of. I decided to try these trails and blog about what I find, at least until it gets too hot to do anything outside. (Honestly, I’m also scouting a location for my daughters birthday because she decided she wants a “Bigfoot Party.” Speaking of which, does anyone have a gorilla suit & a tall man I can borrow?) Continue reading →

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Tasty & Super Easy Shredded Beef Tacos: Salpicon

I don’t remember anyone bringing food to my house when I was a kid. We were fortunate to never have some AWFUL turn of events that kept us from cooking our own meals. In fact, the first time people ever showed up to our house with casserole dishes was when my own mother passed away. Believe me, we needed it then. Seeing all the food in Mom’s kitchen meant the world to me, so I promised myself I would ALWAYS bring food to people in their time of need. That’s why I’m making Salpicon today. Continue reading →

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The Awkward In-Between Phase: Adult Edition

The last time I saw my hairdresser, he said that my hair was in an “in-between phase.” That was 6-weeks ago so my hair has officially entered the “AWKWARD In-Between Phase.” Even worse, I forgot to make my next appointment and my hairdresser isn’t available for 6 MORE weeks. That should explain my Something-Akin-to-a-Wookie look the next time you see me.

I was trying to pull my hair into tiny pig-tails recently when I realized that my entire LIFE is in an Awkward In-Between Phase. Continue reading →

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KIDDO THE CAT: You Mean Da Plane ISN’T a Band Made Up Of Little People?

I live in a house of lies.

My husband tells me lies all the time, just for the hell of it. Then he forgets that he told me these lies and I tell them to everyone else and insist they are true.

He told me that Spike Jones directed all of the “Roaming Gnome” commercials and that Brendan Fraser was going to star in a remake of “Blue Lagoon.” (That was during the height of my Brendan-Fraser-Crush-Years.) He also told me that there was a cover-band made up entirely of little people called “Da Plane,” then forgot to tell me it was a joke. Of course, I told EVERYONE I knew. Just last night he told me that there are bars in China filled with cats so people can have a cocktail after work and pet a cat. They feature tuna fish entrees and lots of whipped cream so the cats won’t run off. I have no idea if that one is true but it caused me to tell my own story.

I’d just read an article about a pilot in the early 1900’s who liked to fly with his cat, named Kiddo. Continue reading →

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MOVIE REVIEWS: “Mortdecai” & “A Most Violent Year”

I should tell you right away that I didn’t see “Mortdecai” because I had absolutely no desire to. In fact, just looking at the movie-poster above makes me want to go throw a brick through a car window (preferrably Johnny Depp’s car window). I’ve been reading reviews on RottenTomatoes.com where “Mortdecai” is currently getting a 9% (certified ROTTEN), so it appears I didn’t miss much. My favorite comment so far came from Film Critic Robbie Collin, who called the movie “psychotically unfunny.” Here’s a link to his “Mortdecai” review, which I suspect is far better than the movie itself. Continue reading →

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SNOWBALL: Zombie Hamster

Our hamster Snowball is sick.

It all started about 6 months ago when my daughter Emma noticed something inside Snowball’s ear. I didn’t think it was serious until it got so big that it was growing OUTSIDE of Snowball’s ear as well. That’s when I took her to the vet.

Yes, that’s right. I took a hamster to the vet which is an endeavor in itself since NO ONE treats hamsters. We found the only place in Dallas that would see her and that’s where they determined she has cancer. Hamster Cancer, believe it or not, is quite common and is the #3 killer of hamsters, right behind:

#1- Other Housepets and

#2- Neglectful Children Continue reading →

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Maurice’s Chili for the Chili Cook-Off

Years ago, I took boxing classes with a trainer named Maurice Nelson. Maurice was a wonderful dude and a glowing example of what exercise and a healthy diet can do for a body. That’s why it was so shocking when we found out he had colon cancer.

I stopped taking boxing classes (boxing, it turns out, is REALLY HARD) but Maurice and I remained friends. He got really skinny from the chemotherapy, so I started bringing food for him to the gym. He didn’t like everything I brought (“Don’t feel like you have to bring that cabbage soup again.”) but he LOVED my chili. Maurice even told me once that my chili was the best he had ever tasted. I told my husband that night, to which he responded, “Has he ever EATEN chili before?” Continue reading →