I’m really sick right now. I went to bed at 9pm last night and only got up long enough to drive my kids to school this morning. I’ve been lying on the sofa ever since, sleeping and trying not to die. I woke up a little after noon and picked up my phone. THIS was the first thing I saw. Don’t ask questions. Just watch it.

I did a little research and found out that Kung Fury is a REAL MOVIE that’s going to be released sometime in late May. David Hasselhoff recorded the theme song and it just hit YouTube yesterday. Even cooler, Kung Fury started out as a Kickstarter project and raised over $600,000 to get off the ground. The fact that random people threw in THAT MUCH MONEY to make this thing happen gives me a new faith in humanity.

Here’s a link to the Wiki page, if you want to read more about it. I could type it all out but…leave me alone. I’m sick. “Kung Fury” on Wikipedia

Finally, I need to say THANK YOU STEPHEN JONES for sending me this link. I should probably be very concerned that you saw “True Survivor” and thought of ME, but I’m not.

Have you watched it yet? Why haven’t you watched it yet?

People playing with a Ouija Board.  (Pho

BLOG: Tales Of The Grade-School Occult

My oldest daughter is currently obsessed with what I call “The Grade-School Occult.” If it involves seances, ghost stories or saying “Bloody Mary” into a darkened bathroom mirror, then Emma’s all over it. I haven’t discouraged her either because I also loved that stuff as a kid. I was always the first to chant “Light as a feather, stiff as a board,” or Ding-Dong-Ditch the supposed devil-worshippers house. That’s why I shouldn’t have been surprised when Emma said, “I want to use my birthday money to buy a Ouija Board.” Continue reading →

artinthe yard

“Eliza’s Art In The Yard” For One-Of-A-Kind Designs

I’m lucky because I have several friends who are artists and designers. This is GREAT for me because I always get the best birthday gifts from them. It’s also a challenge because I want to buy EVERYTHING they make but as my husband constantly reminds me, “Julie you just can’t DO that!”

I choose instead to promote my friends whenever I can, like the show this weekend. My girlfriend Fatima Valentin is the metalsmith and designer behind Fantastultra, which will have a booth at Eliza’s Art In The Yard. Fatima’s been creating pieces that have a cool cosmic/vintage feel for years. Everything she makes looks like it came from a badass Virginia Slims ad circa 1971. Here’s a sample of her recent work but I plan to show up early and buy that giant garnet ring.


Several other artists will be displaying and selling their work Saturday so take time to check everything out. You can also get a reflexology treatment or massage while you’re there, or maybe even a henna tattoo. See you Saturday but remember, I CALLED DIBS ON THAT RING!


PODCAST: The BOOZY MOVIE Film Critics Are PUMPED About “Ex Machina”

The band was back together this week! Richie Whitt, Sybil Summers, Rebekah Black and I saw “Ex Machina” and WOW! We were so inspired by this one that we waxed poetic like real Film Critics. Well, the Jamesons helped. Listen to the podcast and sorry about all the pubic-hair talk.



The Splash Effect: Movies From My Youth Are NOT OK For My Kids

It all started with Splash.

My kids were on a mermaid kick a few years ago so I decided to record the Daryl Hannah-Tom Hanks classic for them. What could be sweeter than a Disney flick about a lonely guy who falls in love with a mermaid? It just happened to be playing on HBO at the time so I taped it to show to my daughters. THANK GOD I was up late one night and decided to watch it without them. Do you remember what “Allen” and “Madison” did when they first met? Let’s just say that she was the horinest mermaid to ever grow legs. Continue reading →


RECIPES: Sunday Night Hangover Roast

My mother often roasted a big slab of beef for us on Sunday nights. It was always her go-to for a “Big Fancy Weekend Dinner.” Mom would liberally salt & pepper the large rind of fat on top of the beef, which was INCREDIBLE once it was finished. My sister and I would cut little slivers of the roasted, salty fat off and eat it like heavenly potato chips. This infuriated Mom because it left little bald spots all over the roast, but she was the one who taught us how to do it. Continue reading →


PODCAST: My Review of “The Longest Ride” with Bernie Mack

The movie version of Nicholas Sparks’ best seller “The Longest Ride,” is NOW in theaters. It stars Britt Robertson and Scott Eastwood as young lovers who are struggling to make their relationship work. Along the way, they meet an elderly man (played by Alan Alda), who tells them all about the love of his life. That love story stars Jack Huston and Oona Chaplin, which makes me wonder WHY IS EVERYONE FREAKING OUT ABOUT SCOTT EASTWOOD WHEN JACK HUSTON IS EVEN BETTER? Seriously, it’s Richard from Boardwalk Empire before he got his face blown off! That guy is beautiful! So take a listen to my chat with Bernie Mack on Westwood One and while you’re at it, let’s all gaze longingly at the gorgeous Jack Huston. Because Scott Eastwood seems like a meathead anyway.

Click the link below Jack to hear the review and click the link below THAT to purchase tickets.


“The Longest Ride” Review with Bernie Mack
Click HERE tickets to see “The Longest Ride”

Me & Emma

BLOG: I Didn’t Become a Mom the Day I Had a Baby

Today is my daughter Emma’s 11th birthday. We prepared for it last night the same way we do every year, by telling her the story of her birth. My husband did the honors this time, telling Emma all about the cheeseburgers he made for dinner that night and how it was storming when we drove to the hospital. I was thinking about a different day though. I thought about the day 4 weeks before Emma’s birth when my doctor said, “This baby is coming ANY minute now!”

I burst into tears when he said that. Continue reading →


BLOG: Is It Bad Luck or Stupidity? (aka “Farting In Front of Blythe Danner”)

I’ve had a remarkable string of bad luck this week. Sure, we all have the occasional stubbed toe or traffic jam, but when the bad incidents string themselves together over several days you’re left wondering, “What is the DEAL?”

Fortunately, nothing REALLY bad has happened (hope I didn’t just jinx myself) but I’ve broken my favorite lasagna pan, stomped on my cat, ruined dinner, gotten lost in the woods (see previous blog) and had a TV movie-segment (that I was PUMPED about) get canceled. Just last night, I showed up for a movie screening a whole week early. Even worse, I had friends driving in from McKinney to join me. When I got home from that last fiasco, I said to my husband, “Well, this doesn’t bode well for my interview tomorrow.” Continue reading →