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BLOG: Camp Tales, or Lack Thereof

I chaperoned my daughter’s Catholic School Camp Trip last week and hoped I’d come home with loads of stories to tell. What I returned with instead are stories I CAN’T tell because they involve kids or parents who might be angry with me for doing so. This is tearing me apart because I have tales of moms who escaped to a crawfish shack & the nicknames they made up for their favorite counselors. I have tales of little boys who pined for little girls and of one chaperone who now needs surgery from a playground game. I have stories of poker games, fish hooks & early morning vomit that are AWESOME and of children who talked, walked & even screamed in their sleep. Continue reading →

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FREE MOVIE PASSES to See “Little Boy” Wednesday Night!

Did you know that Kevin James has a movie coming out that ISN’T Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2? Thank goodness because people HATE that movie. Maybe James thought, “I should make another movie ASAP so people won’t be so pissed at me.” His new movie is called Little Boy and it’s about a family separated during World War II and the son’s struggle to bring his Dad home. If Kevin James isn’t your thing, several other folks are involved like Tom Wilkinson, Emily Watson and David Henrie! Aww, he was Justin on Wizards of Waverly Place! Wait a minute. According to IMDB.com David Henrie is in that Blart Fart 2 movie as well. That’s weird. Anyhow, I didn’t get to see Little Boy but I have some free passes to a screening this Wednesday night. Click that link below if you’re interested. I have no idea if it’s any good but seeing this one is kind of like flipping off Mall Fart 2 so GET THOSE FREE PASSES!
Click Here to See “Little Boy” NOT That Other Kevin James Movie

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BLOG: Heading to Camp

You won’t be hearing from me much this week because for the first time in my life, I’m going to camp.

I never went to camp as a kid which honestly, suited me just fine. The only thing I knew about summer camps were the things I had seen in movies like Meatballs or Friday the 13th. Young, unattractive people (did they make good-looking actors in the ’70s?) spent their days at camp either making-out or murdering each other, so why would I WANT to go? Remember the camp movie Little Darlings? Kristy McNichol and Tatum O’Neal raced to see who could lose their virginity in that one, which is pretty nasty when you think about it. Continue reading →

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FORGET EVERY OTHER MOVIE BECAUSE “KUNG FURY” IS COMING

I’m really sick right now. I went to bed at 9pm last night and only got up long enough to drive my kids to school this morning. I’ve been lying on the sofa ever since, sleeping and trying not to die. I woke up a little after noon and picked up my phone. THIS was the first thing I saw. Don’t ask questions. Just watch it.

I did a little research and found out that Kung Fury is a REAL MOVIE that’s going to be released sometime in late May. David Hasselhoff recorded the theme song and it just hit YouTube yesterday. Even cooler, Kung Fury started out as a Kickstarter project and raised over $600,000 to get off the ground. The fact that random people threw in THAT MUCH MONEY to make this thing happen gives me a new faith in humanity.

Here’s a link to the Wiki page, if you want to read more about it. I could type it all out but…leave me alone. I’m sick. “Kung Fury” on Wikipedia

Finally, I need to say THANK YOU STEPHEN JONES for sending me this link. I should probably be very concerned that you saw “True Survivor” and thought of ME, but I’m not.

Have you watched it yet? Why haven’t you watched it yet?

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BLOG: Tales Of The Grade-School Occult

My oldest daughter is currently obsessed with what I call “The Grade-School Occult.” If it involves seances, ghost stories or saying “Bloody Mary” into a darkened bathroom mirror, then Emma’s all over it. I haven’t discouraged her either because I also loved that stuff as a kid. I was always the first to chant “Light as a feather, stiff as a board,” or Ding-Dong-Ditch the supposed devil-worshippers house. That’s why I shouldn’t have been surprised when Emma said, “I want to use my birthday money to buy a Ouija Board.” Continue reading →

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“Eliza’s Art In The Yard” For One-Of-A-Kind Designs

I’m lucky because I have several friends who are artists and designers. This is GREAT for me because I always get the best birthday gifts from them. It’s also a challenge because I want to buy EVERYTHING they make but as my husband constantly reminds me, “Julie you just can’t DO that!”

I choose instead to promote my friends whenever I can, like the show this weekend. My girlfriend Fatima Valentin is the metalsmith and designer behind Fantastultra, which will have a booth at Eliza’s Art In The Yard. Fatima’s been creating pieces that have a cool cosmic/vintage feel for years. Everything she makes looks like it came from a badass Virginia Slims ad circa 1971. Here’s a sample of her recent work but I plan to show up early and buy that giant garnet ring.

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Several other artists will be displaying and selling their work Saturday so take time to check everything out. You can also get a reflexology treatment or massage while you’re there, or maybe even a henna tattoo. See you Saturday but remember, I CALLED DIBS ON THAT RING!

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PODCAST: The BOOZY MOVIE Film Critics Are PUMPED About “Ex Machina”

The band was back together this week! Richie Whitt, Sybil Summers, Rebekah Black and I saw “Ex Machina” and WOW! We were so inspired by this one that we waxed poetic like real Film Critics. Well, the Jamesons helped. Listen to the podcast and sorry about all the pubic-hair talk.

https://soundcloud.com/julie-hoyt-fisk/boozy-movies-reviews-ex-machina

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The Splash Effect: Movies From My Youth Are NOT OK For My Kids

It all started with Splash.

My kids were on a mermaid kick a few years ago so I decided to record the Daryl Hannah-Tom Hanks classic for them. What could be sweeter than a Disney flick about a lonely guy who falls in love with a mermaid? It just happened to be playing on HBO at the time so I taped it to show to my daughters. THANK GOD I was up late one night and decided to watch it without them. Do you remember what “Allen” and “Madison” did when they first met? Let’s just say that she was the horinest mermaid to ever grow legs. Continue reading →

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RECIPES: Sunday Night Hangover Roast

My mother often roasted a big slab of beef for us on Sunday nights. It was always her go-to for a “Big Fancy Weekend Dinner.” Mom would liberally salt & pepper the large rind of fat on top of the beef, which was INCREDIBLE once it was finished. My sister and I would cut little slivers of the roasted, salty fat off and eat it like heavenly potato chips. This infuriated Mom because it left little bald spots all over the roast, but she was the one who taught us how to do it. Continue reading →