Rapid Review: “The Northman”

The Northman stars Alexander Skarsgård as Amleth, a Viking who hopes to avenge the murder of his father, the King (Ethan Hawke). He also plans to save his mother (Nicole Kidman), who has been forced to marry the murderer, also the King’s brother. Along the way Amleth meets a beautiful witch (Anya Taylor-Joy), who offers him a brighter and less-deadly path in life. It’s the same Scandinavian legend that inspired Shakespeare’s Hamlet, and it could’ve seemd too familiar in another director’s hands.  Fortunately, Robert Eggers is steering this ship so The Northman is consistently fresh, even during its grimiest, blood-bath battles (of which there are many).

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See “The Northman” EARLY & FOR FREE

I truly enjoyed The Witch and The Lighthouse (which is far better if you think of it as a dark-comedy) so I’m excited to see the latest from director Robert Eggers, The Northman. This one stars Alexander Skarsgård as a Viking who must avenge his father’s death with the help of a lovely witch (played by Anya Taylor-Joy). Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe also star and those last two share a nude scene. If you’re thinking, “Is that supposed to be a selling-point?” I don’t really know but I do have passes to see The Northman EARLY and FOR FREE.

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Movies 9/2018

Talking About September Movies on GOOD MORNING TEXAS

I was on Good Morning Texas today, telling everyone what movies they should see in the following weeks. I always love talking to Jane McGarry and Alanna Sarabia and if you listen carefully, you’ll hear me cluck like a chicken at them for freaking out over The Nun. I also promised to post the trailer for The Nun that YouTube pulled for being TOO SCARY. Click HERE to watch that but BE WARNED! You should probably avoid it if you have a weak heart…or bladder.
Click HERE if you’d rather just watch the Good Morning Texas segment, and remember to check my FREE MOVIE PASSES page to see what kind of goodies I’m giving away. Also check the links below for movie trailers and tickets! Continue reading →

MOVIE REVIEW: How “The Magnificent Seven” Led to A Girl-Fight

Something crazy happened after I watched The Magnificent Seven with some friends last night. We had adjourned to a nearby Happy Hour to discuss the movie, when they verbally attacked me. The girls and I apparently had widely differing opinions of the movie and the more we drank, the louder our debate got.

See, this version of The Magnificent Seven is not a remake, but it definitely has the same bones. The original film from 1960 is a remake of Seven Samurai, and multiple films came after it, riffing on the same plot. Thanks to spoofs like The Three Amigos and Blazing Saddles, the Old-West-town-that-needs-to-be-saved storyline is excessively familiar. There are also obvious comparisons to other GREAT modern Westerns, like The Unforgiven and True Grit. The Magnificent Seven doesn’t have the comedy of the spoofs, but it also can’t achieve the emotional depths or cinematic beauty of better Westerns, so it’s left kind of floundering in the middle. Continue reading →

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “The Magnificent Seven” ON ME!

Where has Chris Pratt been? Sure, I’ve seen him nightly on HBO since they’re playing Jurassic World on repeat, but it’s been far too long since my pretend-boyfriend was on the big screen. This dry-spell will come to an end soon, thank goodness, since The Magnificent Seven is hitting theaters September 23rd.

The Magnificent Seven stars Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke, along with the Pool-Boy-of-Your-Dreams Chris Pratt, as gunmen who band together to save a town from thieves. It isn’t a remake of the 1960’s classic, just a re-imagining, so you purists can relax. The Magnificent Seven also stars Haley Bennett, who has had a HUGE year after starring in Hardcore Henry in the spring and in The Girl on the Train next month. Haley is the girl you keep thinking is Jennifer Lawrence, but isn’t.

If you’d like to see The Magnificent Seven EARLY and FOR FREE, just click HERE, then watch the trailer below. See, you totally thought she was Jennifer Lawrence, didn’t you?