My daughter started a new high school this week, where she only knows a few people. She wanted a brand new start so this was part of the plan, but the isolation has been a bit of a surprise for her. Kids like mine, who’ve been in the same small school since they were tiny, might romanticize the idea of a fresh start without fully understanding what a blank slate means. I’m all too familiar with it, having made 3 fresh starts in my life (you can read my favorite blog about that HERE). I’ve been giving my daughter nightly pep-talks, which she rolls her eyes at but I think deep down, she hears me. While browsing social media today, I realized that many of my friends are talking their kids through similar pains, because so many are starting new schools and colleges. I thought I’d share the advice I’ve been giving, so you too could sit through the annoyed eye-rolls of your spawn.
1) Making new friends will take longer than you want it to.
Settle in for some prolonged awkwardness because this isn’t an overnight fix. Building a new life takes time, which probably means more alone time than you’ve had in years. Remember that it IS part of the plan and nothing to worry about.
2) Don’t take it personally.
You might starting thinking things like, “Why don’t I have friends? Nobody likes me!” Cut it out. Nobody knows you. There’s a big difference. Continue reading →