MOVIE REVIEW: “Blair Witch” I Don’t Know How to Review This Movie

Nothing ruins a horror flick faster for me than hearing someone say, “Scariest movie EVER!”

Because it automatically isn’t.

Once you tell me a movie is going to scare the crap out of me, my expectations get too high for that to be possible anymore. That’s why I’m struggling to review the new Blair Witch movie. I don’t want to oversell it, and to be honest, I don’t fully understand why it got to me the way it did. I mean, you and I both already know the story, right? If you’ve seen the first movie, you know exactly what’s going to happen when they start searching those woods. You even know that they’re going to get lost, and where they’ll eventually end up. Sure, there are a few changes, like the addition of wearable cameras and drones, which makes the Black Hills Forest feel like any other hike you’d take. There’s also a stronger and more likable cast, except for Lane and Talia. Oh, you’re going to HATE those two, but it’s okay. You’re supposed to.

Despite these minor tweaks, this Blair Witch is almost exactly like The Blair Witch Project of 1999, until the last twenty minutes. That’s when it started looking like some of my very worst nightmares. It’s also when I screamed so hard that my movie buddy started laughing at me.

So I can’t really tell you why Blair Witch scared the bejeezus out of me, because I don’t understand it myself. Furthermore, I don’t want to elevate anyone’s expectations and ruin your chance of being scared, too. So, I’ll just say this: Blair Witch is a movie that’s much like the The Blair Witch Project of 1999. If you enjoyed the first, you’ll enjoy this one as well. And is it scary? Oh, I don’t know. Just go see it and decide for yourself.