Here is a collection of my thoughts while watching Charlize Theron in Atomic Blonde:
Holy CRAP, Charlize Theron looks amazing! How old is she now? Almost 42? Damn woman!
OK, so she plays Lorraine, who is an undercover MI6 agent during the Cold War. You know this because Regan is screaming for the wall to come down. Lorraine’s been in a bad fight but still looks gorgeous with her scrapes and bruises. She’s even sexy when she’s glowering. How does she do that? I look like a sea hag when I glower. Maybe I should practice in a mirror.
I’m already kind of confused but it doesn’t matter because they’re playing some classic David Bowie now, which I adore. I think this song was on the Cat People soundtrack, too.
Anyhow, Lorraine is in trouble for some reason and is being debriefed by her boss and John Goodman. They want her to find a guy named Spyglass with the help of James McAvoy, who is all buff and beefy now. He’s bald again, too. Why does James McAvoy only play bald dudes now? Wait, IS JAMES MCAVOY BALD? Nevermind, they’re playing Depeche Mode. Continue reading →