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MOMMY-MOVIE-REVIEW: “JAWS” With My Kids

I have 2 daughters, ages 7 and 11, and a LIST of movies I’ve wanted to show them since they were born. Most of my favorites, like The Color Purple and Pulp Fiction will have to wait until they’re older but I have been introducing others with mixed results. Last year, I showed them Jurassic Park, which they loved, and the year before that I watched Titanic with my oldest. We had tickets to a Titanic exhibit and I thought it would be fun to watch the movie beforehand. Emma cried nonstop as the ship sank though, and then accused me of child-abuse when I told her to “buck up.” Continue reading →

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BLOG: Birthday Party of DOOM

My daughter Emma FINALLY had a birthday party, about 2 months late. It was the chintziest birthday party ever but I took my shot when I saw it. Emma asked if she could have 2 friends sleep over at once and I said, “YES! IN FACT, WE’LL GET A CAKE AND CALL IT YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!”

I know it’s lame but we were about to forget the party altogether and if THAT happened, she would use it as a guilty-bargaining-chip for the rest of the year. So we got some pizzas and Harry and the Hendersons on DVD and called it a “Bigfoot Party.” We even got her a Bigfoot cake. How cute is this? (Thank you Society Bakery!)

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CITY HIKES: The Shortest Hike EVER at The Fort Worth Nature Center

The Fort Worth Nature Center is one of my favorite places to hike in North Texas. I took my kids to check it out last year on one of those weird COOL summer days. We WENT because we’d heard about the Greer Island Goat Man who supposedly roams the preserve and terrorizes teenagers. You can read more about HIM by clicking HERE. Continue reading →

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BLOG: My Big Summer Road Trip & Why I Chickened Out

I have been bragging about my big summer road trip FOR MONTHS. It started back in February, when I decided to take my kids on a cross-country journey to visit family and friends. We would see my sister in Georgia and then hit my hometown of Burlington, North Carolina. Take a quick drive to DC for July 4th fireworks and then we’d stay in a relative’s Delaware beach house for a week. My husband even planned to fly up and meet us which made the whole thing perfect, right? Well, perfect until we started planning the 3-day trip home.

We would have to leave soon too, so the spectre of nonstop-driving began to haunt me. Continue reading →

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PODCAST: Boozy Movies Reviews “Spy” & Fights Over Jude Law’s Bald Spot

Well, look at that! We went and made a VIDEO this week instead of the usual podcast. My dear friend Steven Visneau, who is without a doubt THE MOST TALENTED photographer I know, said “Why don’t you let me film that movie review for you?” I think he (and possibly everyone else) was getting tired of hearing us scream into my tiny mic during the podcast. Whatever the reason, we have an actual YouTube video for you to watch this week. Sadly, Sybil Summers & Richie Whitt couldn’t join us because…well, you’ll see why. Enjoy!

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My “Entourage” Movie Review…By Proxy

I missed the Entourage screening last night because my car broke down. That’s the first time in my illustrious Film Critic Career (read that as sarcasm) that I’ve completely missed the screening of a big movie. Once my oldest daughter got sick before the last Harry Potter screening, but I just dragged her with me.

She asked me, “Who do you love more? Me or Harry Potter?”

I told her to HUSH and put on some pants. Another time I had to take my youngest to see The Tourist with me because my childcare fell through. Lucy was only 3 at the time and kicked the seat in front of us through the whole movie. She was wearing shoes that lit-up so everytime she stomped, our seats turned into a tiny disco. Honestly, it was more entertaing than the movie. Continue reading →

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BLOG: We Answered The Question “What IS VertsKebap?”

Finding a place for a Saturday night dinner in our house is a beat down. It’s hard enough for my husband and I to decide on a place, but throw in two picky kids and we’ll end up at Campisi’s every time. That’s not necessarily a BAD thing but variety is the spice of life and sometimes you have to force the ankle-biters out of their comfort zones, right?

This past Saturday, my husband and I decided to throw caution to the wind and took the girls to VertsKebap. The girls did not take kindly to this decision and made me repeat the name roughly 30 times. They also struggled to comprehend the restaurant’s concept, no matter how many times I said, “RELAX. It’s just a big sandwich.” Continue reading →

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CITY HIKES: An Old Lady Goes Rock Climbing at Summit Gyms

The nonstop rain recently has made hiking or kayaking sound like an awful idea. I mean, I COULD try either one but it would probably end with a reporter saying, “Tragedy struck today,” so nevermind. Instead, I decided to give the Summit Gym in Dallas a try. Several friends have mentioned it on social media and it seemed like a great place to get some exercise…or break a bone. It could either way with me. Continue reading →

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FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “Entourage” on Me!

Everyone complains that Hollywood has run out of ideas, but you can’t fault them for making movie versions of popular TV shows. Gotta give the people what they want, right? That said, I was OVER Entourage long before the series finished. I had to keep WATCHING it because my husband was a fan but I felt like I was seeing the same episode over and over again. That’s not what turned me off for good, though. I realized one night how much it grossed me out to watch Drama and Turtle constantly hook up with random women. Those characters are NASTY and the women they shacked up with each week were even NASTIER.

I realize I’m in the minority here and I still got a little excited when I saw the trailer:

Omigod! Was that Haley Joel Osment? The “I see dead people” kid? EVERYONE wanted to make a cameo in this movie, so you’ve got Tom Brady, Gary Busey, Jon Favreau…even Mark Cuban shows up!

If you want to see Entourage FOR FREE there’s a screening this Monday night and I HAVE PASSES! Just click HERE to get yours. REMEMBER though, it’s first come first serve so show up early. You might have to wait in line for a bit because everyone wants to see this movie. That said, we WILL be at the AMC Northpark, which has a bar. Please don’t forget because I’d hate to see you having an Ari-Gold-Freak-Out at the theater over missing you chance. If, however, you DO freak-out, make sure someone catches it on their phone.

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BLOG: My Secret Shame-Part Deux

I posted what had to be the NASTIEST blog I’ve ever put on this website last week and it was written almost entirely by other people. I belong to a secret Facebook Group that has been sharing their “Secret Shames,” so I wrote a blog based on them. Far more people read that post than ANYTHING ELSE I’VE EVER WRITTEN! So, I guess you people are sick in the head…just like me.

Here’s Round 2 but remember, they are foul. Like really really FOUL. There are countless swear words and yes, even more poop-talk. I also feel the need to apologize to Little People because…well, you’ll see why after reading it. Enjoy! Continue reading →