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FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “American Ultra” with Me for FREE!

You might think that the whole Sleeper-Super-Agent idea but has been done to death, but Hollywood found a legitimate way to update it. What if the Sleeper-Agent in question grew up to be a slacker-stoner who lived with his girlfriend and smoked out all day? Jesse Eisenberg plays Mike, who works at a convienent store until the day he is activated. Imagine his surprise when he discovers he’s a deadly weapon who can kill people with little more than a spoon. Kristen Stewart plays his girlfriend Phoebe, who has to call on her own inner-tough-girl to help Mike survive when he becomes the target.

I can’t help but get excited about this because I’ve loved Jesse Eisenberg since Zombieland. I also relish any moment that Kristen Steward seems likeable. Sorry but I couldn’t stand her as “Bella.” I always wonder if the reason everyone hates Stewart so much is because “Bella” was such a crappy character. Maybe she’s awesome in real life but was simply forced to play an awful role for too long. Well, it’s not like she and I will have a “Girls Night” anytime soon so I guess I’ll never know.

The point I’m trying very poorly to make is that I have free passes to see American Ultra next week! Click HERE for those and then take a minute to watch the trailer. See you at the screening and I’ll let you know if that Julie/Kristen Date-Night happens anythime soon.

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BLOG: Am I Weird for Enjoying the “Period Talk?”

I just had a full-blown PERIOD discussion with the 11-year-old, with visual aids and everything. We read The Care and Keeping of YOU from the American Girl Doll people and then I showed her a tampon, which she stared at like it was a charging bear. (Don’t worry. I showed her one of the tiny “Light” tampons. I didn’t want to scare her with a “Super Plus,” or THE CANNONS as my sister calls them.) My youngest daughter, of course, was so freaked out she could barely stand it, but even she was too intrigued to leave the room. And me? I was absolutely loving it. I know some parents are uncomfortable about having these chats but not me. I was born for this shit. Continue reading →

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I’m OUT & ABOUT on “Good Morning Texas”

I started a new segment on Good Morning Texas this week called “Out & About.” It’s a collection of fun upcoming events and I THINK it’s going to be a regular thing. I taped another one for next Friday so pretend you don’t notice that I’m wearing the same clothes. You can watch the first Out and About by clicking the link below.
http://www.wfaa.com/videos/entertainment/television/programs/good-morning-texas/2015/08/07/out–about-ideas-for-your-weekend-entertainment/31291211/

If you’re interested in any of the events listed, here are some links for more details.
Klyde Warren Parkhttp://www.klydewarrenpark.org/
Core Power Yogahttp://www.corepoweryoga.com/node/29526
Dallas Arboretum Dollar Dayshttp://www.dallasarboretum.org/
Fantastic Fourhttp://www.fandango.com/fantasticfour2015_179982/movieoverview
Rascal Flatts at Gexa http://www.livenation.com/artists/42462/rascal-flatts
Dallas Comedy Househttp://dallascomedyhouse.com/

Quick thanks to Kyle Tatum at Blow Salon for the fresh cut and summer highlights. If you’re in the market for a new hair-stylist, you should definitely hit Kyle up. YES, you have to schedule your appointments months in advance but he’s beyond great and totally worth it. I love everyone at Blow but London Michael is also one of my favorites. It doesn’t hurt that both of these men are sweet, gorgeous and have a wicked sense of humor. Go when you can drink some wine while getting your hair did.

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NEW MOVIE TRAILER: Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt in “By the Sea”

The trailer for Angelina Jolie’s latest movie By the Sea looks…well, GRIM is an understatement. Not that Jolie (who wrote and directed this AND stars in it with Brad Pitt) likes upbeat material to begin with. She directed Unbroken last year, with all those agonizing torture scenes, and In the Land of Blood and Honey in 2011. She also wrote that one and I really liked it, even though it was also a bummer of collosal proportions. Now we have By the Sea opening November 13th, which might also be a strange form a couple’s therapy for Brangelina. Take a look at the trailer, then please send Angelina Jolie a cute kitten picture or a funny animal video to cheer her up. Maybe the one with the screaming goats?

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MOMMY-MOVIE-REVIEW: “Fantastic Four” Is The Anti-“Avengers”

Take the Avengers movies and remove everything you liked about them. Take out the witty banter, the intriguing backstories, and the great special effects. Also, suck out as much charisma and sex-appeal as possible from the sexy and charismatic actors. Then insert awkward silences, angry stares and copious plot holes. Voila! You have Fantastic Four! Continue reading →

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BLOG: These Are Not Cats. They Are Terrorists.

Pictured above are my cats.

By day, this is essentially what they look like. All sweet and warm and fuzzy but by night, they become tiny Cat Ninjas, hell bent on destruction.

My friend Kyle says that cats are a “misery-loves-company kind of pet. If they aren’t happy, NO ONE is happy.” If that’s the case, my cats are in full-blown agony. See, we just returned from our summer vacation which kept us away for 10 straight days. This has not gone over well with our cats, despite having a cat-sitter who stayed at our house and lavished them with affection. No, it wasn’t enough and was apparently so traumatic that it gave JB a wicked case of watery bowels. JB is the brown cat and his litter box currently resembles the darkest, most dangerous corners of a psyche ward. Continue reading →

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MOVIE REVIEW: “Ricki and the Flash” Gives Meryl Streep Her Biggest Challenge Yet

Ricki and The Flash is written by Diablo Cody, directed by Jonathan Demme and it stars Meryl Streep. You’d be hard pressed to find a stronger pedigree but unfortunately, the sum of this film doesn’t equal its parts.

Ricki was rock star who left a family behind to pursue her music. Now her career has stalled and her grown children are scarred from their abandonment. Ricki is summoned home when her daughter suffers a major loss but must mend fences before she can be of any help. It’s clear early on where the movie will go from here.

I hate to say it but we might have found the ONE role Meryl Streep can’t easily slip into. Continue reading →

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East Lake Pet Orphange Launches “Clear the Shelter Month!”

My kids and I have been volunteering at the East Lake Pet Orphanage all summer and have LOVED IT! One of the perks of volunteering is that you learn about big events as soon as they’re happening, like this one. I just got the email about Clear the Shelter Month today and had to share the good news. This is what is said:

“CLEAR THE SHELTER MONTH – NOW THROUGH AUGUST 31 – ADOPTION FEES WAIVED – $25 TO OFFSET MICROCHIPPING EXPENSE

ELPO is promoting our VIP orphans, those who have been with us over six months! This promotion will waive adoption fees, and the adoption cost will be $25 to offset the expense of microchipping. Application must be made and background check for approval completed. The following list is the orphans that qualify for the promotion. Continue reading →

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BLOG: The Joy of Saying “NO”

I found my youngest child crying in the shower the other night. Well, WAILING might be a better word because she was crying so hard, I thought she was singing at first. She was so overcome with back-to-school-heartache that she needed multiple hugs before explaining her meltdown.

What if my teacher doesn’t like me?
What if I don’t do well this year?
What if I don’t finish my Summer Reading in time?

But mostly “I REALLY DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.”

I put on my best Wise-Mom-Face and said, “Honey, sometimes you just have to be brave and do the things you don’t want to do.”

I laughed to myself when I said it because I remember my own Mom saying those words. I also remember how little they helped during a crisis, but I said them anyway.

I found the other side of that coin today, while chatting with a girlfriend. Continue reading →

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BLOG: Ghostly Visits From Mom (Or Was it John Denver?)

The stories I’m about to tell are going to make me sound completely insane (this should come as no surprise to anyone). They involve 2 ghostly nighttime visits; One that happened over a year ago and one that occurred just last night.

The visit last year woke me with a tickle on the bottom of my foot. I giggled at it at first but stopped when I realized my husband was still asleep and my cats didn’t have fingers. I was on a radio show at the time, where we often talked to a “Psychic to the STARS.” I asked what SHE thought had happened in my room that night and she said, “Oh, that was John Denver. He’s your Spirit Guide and was just checking in with you.” Continue reading →