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Can I Stop Lying to My Kids Now? (The Tooth-Fairy is Bleeding Me DRY)

How much money did you get from the Tooth Fairy when you were a kid?

I got the occasional $5 bill, but my favorites were the awesome silver dollars that showed up under my pillow. I even recall a $2 bill that turned up once. It looked exactly like the Lucky $2 Bill my Mom always carried around and, oddly enough, it disappeared not long after the Tooth Fairy left it to me.

Ask my kids how much the Tooth Fairy gives them and they’ll proudly tell you, “Usually $10.”

People like to roll their eyes at this fact. They make comments about inflation and how when they were kids, the Tooth Fairy didn’t carry large bills. Yeah, lots of shitty comments have been made about our Tooth Fairy, which is why I want to remind everyone that SHE ISN’T REAL. Continue reading →