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MOVIE REVIEW: The New “Cinderella” & Cate Blanchett as the Original Mean Girl

A quick GOOGLE search will tell you that a “Cinderella Complex” describes a woman who isn’t capable of changing her bad situation. She needs to be rescued by a man. I’m very familiar with this term because my mother warned my sister and I about it when we were young. We would read the Disney Princess stories and then discuss the elaborate weddings we’d have with our own beautiful, wealthy Princes.

“YOU have a Cinderella Complex,” Mom would say and even though we were little and didn’t know what it meant, it effectively killed the fantasy. Continue reading →

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MOVIE REVIEW: “Chappie” & Why Humans Suck

One thing is abundantly clear from Director Neill Blomkamp’s movies.

Human Beings suck.

We’re heartless and self-serving and usually very dangerous. The humans who AREN’T hell-bent on world domination are most often blindly serving some terrible political machine. Blomkamp made his thoughts clear to audiences in the excellent District 9 and then the disappointing Elysium so it’s no surprise that his new hero is a robot. Continue reading →

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MOVIE REVIEW: What We Do in the Shadows (“Real World” for Vampires)

The first thing you need to know about “What We Do in the Shadows” is that it’s really stupid. This mockumentary about vampires sharing a “flat” in modern times is little more than an extended comedy sketch repeating the same jokes. If you DON’T prepare yourself for this fact then you will be like my husband, who declared 5 minutes into the film, “This is barely watchable.”

It’s an entirely different story for those who prepare themselves for something light and goofy. If you’re like ME and love the deadpan Kiwi wit of Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi (who wrote and directed this) then you will adore “What We Do in the Shadows.” Continue reading →

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WINE ‘N FILM CRITICS: The Lazarus Effect “3 Paws Up”

I saw “The Lazarus Effect” last night with Rebekah Black, Sybil Summers, Richie Whitt & Guest Critic James Lane. Then we chatted about it after drinking copious amounts of cheap wine. Believe me, we NEEDED the wine for this one! Enjoy & please forgive the swear words. I dropped my recorder!

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“Jupiter Ascending” (Warning: They Found a Way to Make Channing Tatum Hotter)

Jupiter Ascending is the latest from the Writing-Directing Wachowski siblings. You loved their work on the Matrix but if you’re anything like the rest of us, you’ve been pretty disappointed with what they’ve put out since. Expectations for this one have been high (with it’s 175 million dollar budget) but the release date was continuously delayed and those trailers were pretty freaking confusing.

I honestly didn’t expect to like this movie at all. As the theater lights went down, the critic sitting next to me said, “This movie is gonna be awful,” and I fully agreed with her. Then I spent the next half-hour being totally enthralled. Unfortunately, Jupiter Ascending is just over 2 hours long. Continue reading →

MOVIE REVIEW: “Still Alice” & Still Reaching for the Kleenex

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I’m a big fan of scary movies. I’ll watch my favorites like “Jaws” or “The Conjuring” over and over again because they play to my irrational fears of being eaten by sharks or chased by clapping ghosts. Then you have movies like “Still Alice,” which are a different kind of scary movie. These are even worse because they play on real, very rational fears. Continue reading →

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MOVIE REVIEW: “Inherent Vice”

New in theaters this week is the latest from director Paul Thomas Anderson, “Inherent Vice.” It’s based on a novel by Thomas Pynchon and is the very first time one of his books has been adapted for the screen. I’m not familiar with Pynchon’s work but from what I understand, his books are even more incoherent than this movie.

It opens on a shabby beachside home in 1970, where Private Investigator Larry “Doc” Sportello (played by Joaquin Phoenix) is sleeping off a buzz when his ex-girlfriend Shasta shows up. Shasta is played by Katherine Waterson, who just might be the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. She has this incredible body and thank GOD we get to see her naked eventually. If I looked like Katherine Waterson, I would never wear clothes again and my kids wouldn’t even be embarassed. They would say, “Have you seen my naked Mom? SHE LOOKS AWESOME!!!” Continue reading →

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The 2014 Films Most Likely To…

The DFW Film Critics Association announced their picks for the best movies of the year. If you haven’t seen that yet, here’s the link: http://www.dfwcritics.com/dfw-film-critics-name-birdman-as-top-film-of-2014/

I’m a member of the DFWFCA (I tell this to everyone within 5 minutes of meeting them) and I agree with our winners, but there are a few other movies I wanted to mention. That’s why I compiled my “2014 Films Most Likely Too…” list. Think of it as the Senior Superlatives for Movies. Continue reading →