Doctor Stephen Strange has his hands full in this installment, straightening out the multiverse-mess he caused in Spider-Man: No Way Home. Strange also has to protect a multiverse-jumping new character, America Chavez (played by Xochitl Gomez) from an evil Scarlett Witch, all while delivering one-liners and his version of a Blue Steel side-eye. Toss that with constantly shifting realities and mind-blowing special effects and well…it’s a LOT.Continue reading →
(The following story is true, but the names have been changed to protect my friend and her daughter.)
Pam noticed that her daughter had been especially grouchy lately, but had just attributed it to her usual 14-year-old mood-swings. That didn’t keep Pam from asking, “What is WRONG with you???” after one particularly heated exchange. Her daughter, Ella, surprised her by saying, “Well…something happened the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Pam and Ella had taken a trip to Target just a few days before and, while her mother was in a dressing-room, a man had groped Ella. She was struggling to understand what had happened and all the horrible feelings she was having as a result. Pam was obviously horrified by this news, and immediately contacted the police and the Target they’d visited.
The assault had been captured on Target’s security cameras, as well as his swift departure in a van, but they were surprised by what else they found. Continue reading →
My daughter started a new high school this week, where she only knows a few people. She wanted a brand new start so this was part of the plan, but the isolation has been a bit of a surprise for her. Kids like mine, who’ve been in the same small school since they were tiny, might romanticize the idea of a fresh start without fully understanding what a blank slate means. I’m all too familiar with it, having made 3 fresh starts in my life (you can read my favorite blog about that HERE). I’ve been giving my daughter nightly pep-talks, which she rolls her eyes at but I think deep down, she hears me. While browsing social media today, I realized that many of my friends are talking their kids through similar pains, because so many are starting new schools and colleges. I thought I’d share the advice I’ve been giving, so you too could sit through the annoyed eye-rolls of your spawn.
1) Making new friends will take longer than you want it to.
Settle in for some prolonged awkwardness because this isn’t an overnight fix. Building a new life takes time, which probably means more alone time than you’ve had in years. Remember that it IS part of the plan and nothing to worry about.
2) Don’t take it personally.
You might starting thinking things like, “Why don’t I have friends? Nobody likes me!” Cut it out. Nobody knows you. There’s a big difference. Continue reading →
It’s come to my attention that my daughters occasionally read my blogs. While I don’t relish the idea of them seeing this particular story, I think it’s an important one to share. See, women don’t often talk about the unwanted junk they’ve been flashed in their lives. It happens with far more regularity than I think the world is aware of, though. Maybe it’s time we shared these stories, even though they’re gross. That’s why I’ll be referring to penises as “pickles” from here on out. For the sake of my girls.
The first Unwanted Pickle I ever saw was in middle school. I was 11-years-old and my 6th grade teacher had an awful smoking habit. She left us alone in the classroom several times a day, which was when the boys took over. Most of them (I can’t honestly remember if it was ALL of them) would whip out their pickles as soon as she shut the door, and dance around the classroom. We, the girls, would cover our eyes or bury our faces in books to try to block it out, while the helicopter dance played out around us. I remember one young man skirting disaster after laying his pickle on my friend’s desk. She had a hefty textbook nearby and tried to smash that mini-gherkin, but he got out of the way just in time. This Lord of the Flies display went on for a few days before someone finally told on them. It led to a separation of the boys and girls for a “What IS and IS NOT Appropriate” discussion, but that was about it. I don’t remember any of the boys getting into trouble and the whole situation eventually went away. I never even talked about it with my classmates after that. Most of those boys grew up to be good guys, and some were even my friends. Continue reading →
ATTENTION ALL FULL-TIME-SUMMER PARENTS!!!
I’m speaking to those of you who have been left in charge of the ankle-biters while they are out of school. I feel your pain!
I too have visited every park, accepted every play-date and purchased every kid-appropriate option GROUPON has to offer (Wait, can we take our kids to wine-tastings?)
BUT SUMMER STILL ISN’T OVER!
What do we do with them now?
Lucky for us, I was able to wrangle up free passes to see The Nut Job 2 AND Leap!
Are they good movies?
WHO CARES? They’re FREE and they’ll keep your spawn from asking “What are we gonna do NOW” for a full ninety minutes. Heck, you might even be able to work in a little snooze while they’re watching the movie. Continue reading →
So many of my friends have been taking their kids off to college lately. They post tearful GOODBYE photos on social media, then recount the awful first moments after driving away. My friend Wendy posted what might be the saddest account I’ve read yet and she was cool enough to let me share it here:
“It SUCKS. That is the honest truth. I will not hold back any punches I will give it to my mom friends straight. Yes we are excited for them, yes we all post pictures of their dorm rooms, but here is the reality. Nothing prepares you saying goodbye and driving away. You feel like you’re having a part of your body ripped off. We got books on what to expect when you are expecting, toddler years, and so forth but where is the book on how to leave your child and not fall apart book? Anyone?? Here is how it goes…
You can’t say anything you want to because you are trying not to dissolve into tears in front of their roommates. All the things you need to say are stuck in your throat in a lump. No words of wisdom just a squeaky I love you escapes.
You get in the car and you cry and everything inside you wants to go get them and take them home. You then have to sit in a hot car( or could be a hot flash because that is just how the day is going) for 3 hours. 5 minutes away you get a text from them saying ” I love you so much! Thanks for being my mom and always staying my mom. And don’t forget you are still my Mom”. Then the ugly crying starts. Where your head hurts and the car is soooooo Freaking hot, put your head between your knees cry but you can’t because you are old and not flexible. So then it happens. DQ blizzard with fries and onion rings. Yep a proud moment of complete comfort food eating. Now you just feel sick so that was helpful. Your husband wants to hold your hand but you are in a don’t touch me mood because this is ALL his fault. Right!?!?
You cry at dinner, you cry at church, you just cry….
So here is what you can do my friends. I have cracked the code. You clean their room. Because in all that mess you go from wanting to kill them, because why is my kitchen bowl under his bed? To laughing, to starting a box to send with the things they forgot, to realizing you are going to be alright. See you know THEY will be alright but let’s be honest will we???
Clean their room… It helps😉”
I was crying by the end of Wendy’s post and I barely even KNOW her kids. I won’t be leaving my own at a dorm any time soon, but I still get weirdly emotional just thinking about it. When I remember my OWN first night at college though, it gives me a bit of relief. I thought I’d share it, and hopefully ease the pain of all those aching Mom & Dad-hearts out there. Continue reading →
A handful of people have asked recently if I thought Suicide Squad was appropriate for kids or if I was planning to take my own.
Honestly, I’m still struggling with that question.
The latest from DC Comics certainly isn’t stellar filmmaking and I only gave it a C, which was pretty generous in my opinion. It’s a fun idea though, of using bad guys to fight the even worse guys and the Suicide Squad themselves have cool stories of their own to tell.
It’s rated PG-13 and filled with profanity but it’s nothing my kids haven’t heard before. Violence is glorified and there are far too many slow-motion shots of heroes dodging bullets, but again, my girls are use to that.
So what’s my problem? Why not take my daughters, when the 12-year-old specifically won’t stop asking about it? Continue reading →
How much money did you get from the Tooth Fairy when you were a kid?
I got the occasional $5 bill, but my favorites were the awesome silver dollars that showed up under my pillow. I even recall a $2 bill that turned up once. It looked exactly like the Lucky $2 Bill my Mom always carried around and, oddly enough, it disappeared not long after the Tooth Fairy left it to me.
Ask my kids how much the Tooth Fairy gives them and they’ll proudly tell you, “Usually $10.”
People like to roll their eyes at this fact. They make comments about inflation and how when they were kids, the Tooth Fairy didn’t carry large bills. Yeah, lots of shitty comments have been made about our Tooth Fairy, which is why I want to remind everyone that SHE ISN’T REAL. Continue reading →
Those of us who have MARVEL fans for kids have some big decisions to make this weekend. Oh, its NOT whether or not to see Captain America: Civil War. No, that’s definitely going to happen because we’re just as excited to see it as our kids. No, we have to decide when and where we’ll see it, and IF we’ll spend the extra cash for full-blown IMAX 3D.
See, we wouldn’t miss Captain America: Civil War if The Hulk himself was blocking the door, so this blog isn’t for people like us.
No, I want to talk to all the other parents out there who DON’T watch the MARVEL movies with their kids. If you have little ones who have no interest, you’re excused. Go watch Bubble Guppies and eat Cheerios with them but for the rest of you, why? Continue reading →
My kids were out of school for Spring Break last week, so I’m actually late with this post. Forgive me, but I was simply too busy running around the beach, trying to convince myself it wasn’t cloudy and 65 degrees. Our break is earlier than most schools though, so you might still be planning yours. There’s always at least one cloudy Spring Break day that’s best spent in a theater, so here are my Top 5 to Films See with Your Kids over Spring Break:
5. My first pick is Miracles from Heaven, but this one comes with conditions. This is a faith-based movie (even produced by T.D. Jakes) so there’s lots of God Talk. If that makes you uncomfortable, prepare to be totally gooned out. Jennifer Garner stars and keeps it from getting too heavy-handed, so don’t scratch it off your list entirely. Miracles from Heaven is also based on the true story of a very sick little girl, which is often difficult to watch. It might be too much for more sensitive viewers, but it might be just right for your crew. Here’s a link to my original review, which was actually made by my daughters and some of their friends. Check it out first, if you can’t decide about the movie.
http://juliesaysso.com/podcast-kids-review-jennifer-garners-miracles-from-heaven/ Continue reading →