THE-WITCH-620x400

FREE MOVIE PASSES: See “The Witch” On Me!

You just can’t decide about seeing The Witch, can you? Some people say it’s insanely scary, others say it’s just a big disappointment. Even I had a hard time making up my mind about it (read my review of The Witch HERE). The BEST way to see a movie you’re not sure about is FOR FREE, right? And lucky for us I have a few passes to see The Witch, but only 2 pair. Don’t complain, it was the most I could get but they are RUN OF ENGAGEMENT passes. That means you can use them whenever you want at any Dallas-area AMC Theater. Here’s what you have to do to get them.
I will give these passes to the first 2 people who post pictures of their favorite witches in the “Comments” section. For example, here’s mine:
montywitch
Got it? Good. And this is NOT a time for political statements so no pictures of Hilary Clinton please, or any other candidates. Yeah, I know you were already photoshopping Donald Trump on a broom. GOOD LUCK!

witch

MOVIE REVIEW: “The Witch” (& The Dreaded Curse of High Expectations)

It was the summer of 1999, when I saw The Blair Witch Project for the very first time. I remember standing in line to buy tickets with a friend, and how nervous we were. There’s nothing better than a movie that’s so scary, you’re actually scared to see it. We bought our tickets and curled up in our seats, just waiting to be terrified.

Our disappointment was deafening.

Not only was The Blair Witch Project not scary, they never even bothered to show us the witch! I was so mad when I left the theater that day, but a strange thing happened. I watched the very same movie months later and it scared the crap out of me. That’s because high expectations can ruin an experience, and they can suck the “scary” out of almost any scary movie.

I tried to keep my expectations low for The Witch. I heard conflicting reports about just how scary it was. Critics ran from the theater screaming “Scariest movie EVER,” when it was screened at Sundance last year, but just as many came out shaking their heads in disappointment. I was aware of all of this and knew I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but they ran amok anyway. Continue reading →

IMG_5254
1 Comment

Movies to Get Excited About in 2016

The holidays are over and it’s honestly kind of depressing, isn’t it? There’s nothing to look forward to, except that one glass of wine you get Saturday night because you’re going to lose this holiday weight, dammit!
Well, some great movies are coming out in the upcoming months. OK, I don’t know if they’re GREAT yet, but there’s enough to get mildly excited about during these snowless winter days.

January
The Revenant- 1/8
People have asked me if this movie is violent. Well, I reviewed The Revenant for WCSX in Detroit and used the words puckered bunghole to describe it. In fact, there’s a bear-attack scene that’s so intense, some people thought the bear was actually raping Leonardo DiCaprio. The Revenant is CRAZY VIOLENT, but it’s also strangely beautiful and will definitely be nominated for something. Hopefully, DiCaprio will even win an Oscar for letting that bear have its way with him.

Kung Fu Panda 3- 1/29
I liked Kung Fu Panda, but I LOVED Kung Fu Panda 2. I wasn’t expecting much from it, and the hint that Po might find his family had me openly weeping as I left the theater. I also CAN’T WAIT to see what happens to the budding relationship between Po & Tigress! Don’t judge me. Continue reading →

the-witch

TRAILER PORN: “The Witch”

Sometimes I like movie trailers just as much as full-length motion pictures.

Sometimes I like them even more, especially when the movie being advertised seems tailor-made just for ME. Case in point: The Witch.

A New England family in the 1630’s moves their farm to the edge of a wilderness. One child disappears and their crops fail soon after. Are they victims of bad luck OR are they being tormented by a malevolent spirit in the woods? Can they save themselves or will they turn on each other, violently?

Writer-director Robert Eggers won the praise of critics AND the Directing Award after The Witch screened at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. We, however, will have to wait until sometime next year to see it. Here’s the trailer and don’t blame me for any freaky goat-nightmares you have afterwards.